theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
These tits shall not be calmed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
