i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i dont even know how to be here
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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