She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
