There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
