i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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