oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
