I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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