are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
