I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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