We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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