Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
