My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
