What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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