My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
