dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
