Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
she pinky promised me she was 18
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
