Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
