wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
