i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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