hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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