: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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