I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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