I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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