why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
