So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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