Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
