i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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