I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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