he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
