Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
