just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
