don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
