? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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