i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
