i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize