Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize