she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We have started to decorate penises.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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