Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Screwed.edu
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize