Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
