There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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