How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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