do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize