What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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