maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
