I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize