We need to rekindle our bromance
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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