He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
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Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
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If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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