tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
