Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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