I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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