All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
