Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
