While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
