And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
