there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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