WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
