I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
