so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
