so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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