A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
