okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize