onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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