addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
