So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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