Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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