I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
