wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
