A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize