Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
