That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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