there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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