Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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